If you hear someone say “I don’t enjoy sex” or “I don’t feel like it” we all know that it’s a lie! But then, there is some amount of truth behind every lie. I am amongst those fancy people who can’t just have sex but have to involve in the process of making love, and there is definitely a lot of difference between the two. In-fact I believe one can make love to their partner without having sex at all. Sounds pretty darn insane and ridiculous, huh? Well let’s talk about it….
Why do people have sex with their partners, is it just to satisfy their biological necessity or is it beyond – like a way of communicating with your partner to show trust, loyalty, and dependence. Unity between two bodies can establish a celestial connection and absolute bliss. Instead, what happens in reality is a thud from the dream of that divine experience and being woken up to the harsh reality of performance pressure and matching expectations.
We are raised with this constant dose of values that teaches us to respect our fellow-humans, to be sensitive and understanding. But what is it about sex that makes many of us judgmental, selfish, and disrespectful. For a very long time I have struggled in keeping a good relationship because the man has always dropped the big “are you ready” question, and in all honesty it freaks me out, still does. This might sound very un-usual to a lot of people, but there are many out there like me who have a very low sexual desire and might turn out to become asexual too. Isn’t it unfair how a person can be amazing at all levels and satisfy every requirement to become an ideal partner, but the moment he/she fails to perform in the act the relationship is called off!
Case-in-point sex has made our relationships very fragile, it is easier to break up with someone today than it was earlier. People involve in crime, cause domestic violence and restore to all sorts of crazy practices in-order to satisfy their needs. Sex is no longer special, or important it has been evolved to a point of becoming routine, mechanical, and to a great extent even experimental. The number of physically and mentally assaulted victims waiting in line for a treatment is alarmingly increasing by the day. People criticize, judge and humiliate their partners for not matching their expectations – how is this making us any different from animals? So is sex really for pleasure or just an ego boost at the cost of potentially crushing your partner’s self-esteem.
Our sexual preferences are changing like nobody’s business. Our needs have become so specific that we have evolved from being a person to being gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, and asexual. Our level of patience has gone down so drastically, we want our coffee in seconds, food in minutes, get new body parts within days and similarly we want sex immediately. Not many believe in waiting anymore because a quickie is better than a no quickie, right? Who cares about finding that one person who can make it worth the wait – the poor soulmate must be stuck in a tree somewhere.
I have friends who are asexual and are absolutely happy. They do not need sex to sustain their relationship, neither are they any less happy if compared to a traditional couple. I am not intending to say that sex is bad and that it should be kept out of a relationship, but the relationship itself deserves to be given a chance. To be able to fall in love with a person and to understand their deepest fears, regrets and to be able to romance a person and treat them in all equality is what makes the experience truly pleasurable and maybe-just-maybe magical.